Bikini Bodies? Fuck ’em

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April 5, 2013 by gabnormal

It’s April.

New Years Get Fit Resolutions have long ago fallen to the wayside and beach season is right around the corner.

And we all know what that means.


And this,

And plenty of these.

My problem with all of this?

It’s fiction, imposed on real bodies. Because really, NO ONE will see such drastic results in just two weeks, (unless you’re starving yourself, and even then it’s not likely). Practically no one in the real world has the time to devote to spending enough time in the gym to attain that ever-elusive bikini body that almost everybody wants.

My take on bikini bodies – or beach bodies as they’re often referred to – goes something like this.

Fuck ‘em.

The concept of attaining an almost impossible physique in order to be allowed to show yourself in a public place is absolutely fucking absurd. The idea of obtaining a beach body automatically indicates that if your body mass index (BMI) isn’t between the suggested 18.5-24.9 then you’re not allowed to show your body at the shore. This is America and freedoms exist here to let you enjoy a day at the beach in a two-piece whether you’re 5’3” and 153 pounds like me or 5’6” and 133 pounds like my friend Sydney.

Once you’ve looked at all the models and stars who are already thin and toned, all the miracle workouts, diet regimens, and all the swimsuits that you won’t even bother trying on because you know you’ll look terrible, you’ve missed the point. It’s been lost and long forgotten so you may as well rot on the Stairmaster for all it’s worth. All the fun of a beach day has been replaced with insecurities and dread.

Rather than promoting too-thin, unrealistic bikini bodies, we as a society should be promoting healthy bodies, which are different for every person. Go to the gym and eat right to be healthy, not to try and attain something that deprives you of enjoying what started this whole thing – a day at the beach.


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