GOP Rep. Michael Burgess Opposes Abortion Because Fetuses Can Masturbate

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June 21, 2013 by gabnormal

Michael Burgess, former OB/GYN and current Republican Texas Representative, is pushing for a ban on abortions in pregnancies only 15 weeks along because according to him, male fetuses are able to masturbate by this point in growth.


The former OB/GYN states he has seen sonograms of male fetuses at 15 weeks with their hands between their legs, and says “If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain?”

Um…..because they can’t feel pleasure OR pain.

I feel dumb answering this with a logical response, but, IF it were true that fetuses could masturbate and feel pleasure, then why isn’t every child, between the ages of 0-12-ish (the normal age kids start exploring their bodies) masturbating constantly? Why don’t companies sell fleshlights and vibrators in children’s sizes? Because according to Burgess, there would be a huge market for these kinds of products.

Oh. That’s right. Because they’re kids, and their hormones haven’t kicked in. Which means they’re more concerned with playing in the sandbox and who stole their crayons, not getting off.

And we’re not even going to get into the fact that Burgess completely disregarded female fetuses in this equation. I guess the myth that women don’t masturbate goes back to the womb.

This just may be the most ridiculous reason I have ever heard behind abortion bans. At least it’s hilarious.


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