Fact: Girl Scout Cookies Will Turn Your Child Into a Lesbian, Like That’s a Bad Thing

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October 25, 2013 by gabnormal

lesbian-girl-scoutsPastor Kevin Swanson doesn’t understand lesbianism, abortion or what dropping $4 on a box of Girl Scout Cookies means, regardless of whether you scratch out Girls Scout Cookies on the actual box.

Swanson begs you not to buy Girl Scout Cookies; please don’t promote such sinful things as planned parenthood, lesbianism and ungodly womanhood. But, if you must give in to the wonderful, confections that defined the pastry aspect of our childhoods, go ahead and scratch out every non-biblical reference on that box, and make sure you do the same to their signs too, because doing so completely negates the $4 you just handed them, it’s like your monetary support never happened.

Swanson doesn’t see the awesome things Girl Scouts do for their communities, and the super-positive and healthy atmosphere it provides young girls. “The vision of the Girl Scouts of America is antithetical to a Biblical vision for womanhood,” he said about the youth organization, and if that’s the case, it’s fine by us.

Even if these delightful little treats DID have the magical power to turn young girls into lesbians, that really wouldn’t be a bad thing.

P.S. Jezebel is totally right, to simply makes things worse the guys voice makes us want to punch things.


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